What is Attractive

 I think we all have this image of how we would like to look. Whether it is like a certain famous person or the way we looked before we gained the weight. We have this image in our minds and we think about how great our life will be if or when we look like that. We think about all the perks that come along with being that person. I know that one of those perks is being attractive to our mates and or other people. But I think we sometimes forget that how we carry ourselves and how we feel about ourselves can make us attractive or unattractive as well. The other night MH told me that he finds me more attractive now that I have lost the weight. After he said that I didn’t know how to react so I just sat there quietly as he continued. He then went on to explain why that is. I know that the slimmed down physique has something to do with it, but he said that it was because I am more confident. He also said that he can tell that I am more comfortable with my body. Also I am not always trying to hide my body by covering myself up when he comes in the room or getting dressed in the bathroom. Because of all that I respond to and interact with him differently and he likes the confident and comfortable me. The reason I would do all that was because I was afraid that he would not find me attractive if he saw how big I was and how I looked with no clothes on. Before I became that fat chick I was super flirty with my husband and I was really free with him. I teased and talked to him in a way that I could only do if I felt confident and comfortable within myself. By no longer being that person, because I was afraid of him not thinking I was attractive I made him un-attracted to me. I just felt that the only way he would find me attractive was if I looked the way I did before and that I had to get back to that person. We can’t wait until we become that person to be comfortable or happy with ourselves. We have to find a way to be happy and comfortable with the person we are right now. I said happy and comfortable not satisfied, it’s ok not to be satisfied with how you look or feel. It’s ok to want to change something, be thinner, healthier, more muscular, and even fit. Because not being satisfied can be what it takes for us to make that change to become the person we want to be. But remember becoming that person does not guarantee happiness; you have to find that for yourself.